Month: July 2011

Pre-season starts here!

It really does not feel like that long ago I was piling in the games at the end of the 2010/2011 season. The snow and other bad weather meant there was a backlog so quite a few midweek evening games were available. This was great for me as it means I have already hit my required quota of 20 games since March in order to hit one of the promotion criteria.

Now, here we are in pre-season mode! I’ve been keeping up my running and have been involved in a couple of games but now the ‘real stuff’ begins. I have a pre-season schedule coming together with a mixture of referee and assistant positions at various levels. Referees need a pre-season just like players do! It is a chance for us to get the fitness in line (both physical and mental stamina), perhaps try a few new things and ensure we are confident when the season truly begins.

I had my first game this week as Assistant Referee. This was a valuable learning experience as the other two officials are both active supply league referees. In addition, the game was frenetic due to lots of triallists wanting to prove their worth!

The teams themselves are at a higher level than I am currently permitted to referee. Some notes on that:

  1. FITNESS AND SKILL: A lot higher than ‘parks’ football! I was able to keep up just fine and it was a great test of my sprinting ability. The ball would be kept in play for a lot longer as well which made it a more interesting game overall.
  2. MORE PHYSICAL PLAY: The challenges and general play were a LOT more physical. However, there were no complaints as most of the time it was controlled and the players were just getting on with it. This took adjusting to. At ‘my’ level, I would be giving fouls for that sort of contact and the players would be expecting that to happen as well.
  3. ADJUST ASSUMPTIONS: A couple of times I flagged for offside way too early. I was in ‘parks’ mode where I would assume (correctly) that the offside applied because no other player could be involved. I needed to wait to absolutely sure in this game because another player could EASILY zip through, or the advantage could shift IMMEDIATELY and should be considered. A great learning experience.

A summary of the game is that my fitness was easily up to the task but that it took me longer to get my mental sharpness in line, especially with not flagging for offsides too soon. As the players are faster at this level your assumptions have to be a bit different. Things flowed a lot better during the second half. My concentration had also been a hit a little bit due to a ‘flag malfunction’ in the first half….

Lots more games to come. It is going to be a busy and productive season and I am really looking forward to it!

p.s. I’ve also been nominated by Surrey FA for consideration to FA Competitions for this season which is really exciting!

Delivering an effective speech evaluation

I really enjoy getting the opportunity to evaluate speeches as part of my membership of Farnham Speakers and the world of Toastmasters in general. Speech giving is a real art and I have learned over time that evaluating in an effective manner is one as well.

I am going to share some of the ways that I like to give an evaluation. I am in debt to many of the great speech evaluators out there as I have certainly picked up some wonderful techniques from them.

  1. WHAT ARE YOU EVALUATING? Every speech has a goal so remember that the evaluation has to be mindful of this. This includes taking the time to talk to the speaker beforehand in case there is anything special they want commented on (“I keep fidgeting with my hands, can you check I don’t do it this time?”). Think of your evaluation as having a target.
  2. THE EVALUATION IS FOR EVERYONE. A common mistake is for the evaluator to just talk at the speech giver. This has the instant result of making everyone else in the room not feel welcome. Target your evaluation at the entire audience. You should still be sure to reference the giver of the speech though… you are not a robot.
  3. COMMENDATION / RECOMMENDATION / COMMENDATION. This is the cornerstone of an effective evaluation model. Start with the positives, then mention what could be improved, and round off with something positive. I won’t dwell too much on this one as it is a bit obvious!
  4. YOU ARE WORTHY. I sometimes see evaluators feel they are not ‘worthy’ of giving an evaluation! “I haven’t given many speeches”. It doesn’t matter: Your opinion has value!
  5. THE SPEECH WAS NOT PERFECT. Perhaps linked to the previous point. Sometimes evaluators will say a speech was pretty much perfect and that they have no recommendations. Seriously? There was nothing at all that could have been improved in the speech? Try harder and don’t be shy. As an evaluator you have a duty to evaluate fully.
  6. MAKE A ‘CALLBACK’ TO THE SPEECH. It helps show warmth if you somehow reference the content of the speech in your introduction. Combine this with humour and it will really help bond with the audience. It will show that you genuinely liked a speech if you did this, instead of a generic “I liked this speech”.
  7. WE KNOW IT IS YOUR OPINION. Avoid In my opinion…. There is no need for it as by definition your evaluation is your opinion. It can sound defensive and apologetic.
  8. CONCLUSION. Don’t forget this. In addition, please telegraph it as you will get the full attention of the audience for the ‘big finish’.

I hope that you have found these tips useful. If you have any of your own to share then please go ahead and post a comment. I would love to read them!

A belated County Cup Final

Shiny!
I was really happy towards the end of last season to be appointed to officiate at the Surrey FA Sunday Premier Cup Final. These appointments are made on merit based on a referee’s performance throughout the season. Various things are considered, including marks from teams on the referee’s leagues and administration. It was a great game and occasion.

I was therefore a little surprised to be given a second Final…. in July! This is normally the ‘closed season’ where everyone is relaxing and eating too many biscuits. Or is that just me? The Final had even already been played. However, it had been later revealed that the winner had fielded an ineligible player and as a result were removed from the competition. A losing semi-finalist was pulled into the final to replace them. All seemingly very political but the rules on the eligibility of players are very clear.

Thankfully, I’ve been keeping up my fitness and as it was to be an Under 11s game it was never going to be too stressful. It was a good gauge of where I am though, both in terms of physical and mental stamina, both of which are vital to a referee. I am happy to report the game went very well with good conduct from all involved.

This is essentially the beginning of my run-up to the next season. I have a schedule of adult games from this point forward, with a combination of ‘running the line’ or being in charge. It will allow me to build up my fitness and concentration, so that when September comes, I will be completely in the zone. This is very important as my remaining two assessments both need to be done that month. There will be no room for excuses!

Are you doing anything to work on your own physical and mental sharpness at the moment?

Google+: Moving in Circles

I have been playing with Google+ for a fair few days now. The number of people I recognise finally getting to sign up is increasing at a great rate. As a result, I am putting more and more people into Circles.

To begin with, I just saw Circles as, well, ‘different’ but I am starting to think that they are pretty neat. Let’s start off with Google’s own video about them:

The summary is simple: You can place people in as many different Circles as you like. When you share content, you decide which Circles get to see it. No-one ever knows which Circle you have put them in. If someone has put you in a Circle you are under no obligation to do the same to them.

Most people find their comfort zone in Facebook, so how does it all stack up?

  1. IT’S EASY. People can be added to Circles with just a few clicks or by a drag ‘n’ drop interface. It feels very intuitive.
  2. PRIVACY IS EASY. Have you tried using Facebook’s privacy controls recently? They are a bit of a nightmare to navigate. I love the Circle Sharing system that Google+ has as anything at all that you decide to share can be sent out to whichever Circles you want. Or you can go fully public. The choice is yours and it is easy to see at a glance what you have been doing.
  3. STOP BORING PEOPLE. There is no need to just share everything with everyone. Family pictures? Share them with your ‘Family’ Circle. Some really geeky social media stuff? Perhaps share them with ‘Social Media Geek Squad’. Your secret love of kittens? ‘Kitten lovers anonymous’. All the Circles are fully customisable.
  4. IT’S YOUR SECRET. No-one will ever know which Circles you have placed them in. Be careful though, as people do talk to each other, so someone who is NOT in your ‘Kitten lovers anonymous’ Circle may work out your terrible secret eventually…
  5. BE CAREFUL. There has to be a strong warning here which is a standard Internet one. Once you have shared ANYTHING on the Internet, even with a select few people, the assumption has to be made that one day absolutely EVERYONE could read it. It all depends on whether those select few people decide to share it! Think ‘Internet gossip’. Tools can block the ability to click ‘Share’, but ultimately you are at the mercy of cut and paste.

I hope that you have found this useful and would love to hear about how you are getting on with Circles or any other aspects of Google+.

p.s. There is a Facebook group called ‘Kitty Lovers Anonymous’ – who knew? 🙂

Another verbal hug: Compliments

Short of giving someone an actual hug, or remembering to use their name, what is a great way of giving someone that warm and fuzzy feeling?

It is so easy to fall into the trap of just seeing someone’s negative traits, or just taking them for granted. Wouldn’t it be so much nicer to take the time to tell someone something that you like about them?

Here are some reasons why this is such a wonderful thing to do:

  1. YOU WILL MAKE SOMEONE SMILE. Everyone likes to feel good. Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Having the consideration to pay someone a compliment will really help them feel engaged with you and happy in themselves. Smiling is good for your health!
  2. TAKE AWAY THE NEGATIVITY. There is so much negativity in our society today. People complain about things not working, about customer service, about trains being late, about their partner forgetting something, about the Internet being slow at that second….. moan, moan, moan! Compliments really seem to stand out nowadays.
  3. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THINGS IN A DIFFERENT WAY. Paying someone a compliment means you are looking at them in a positive, praising way. It will help you look deeply at them and what makes them ‘tick’. Throw away constantly thinking the worst of people and realise that they are truly multifaceted!
  4. YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED AS A POSITIVE PERSON. Do you know someone who is a bit of a ‘downer’? All they do is moan about how bad people or things are? That can be very draining and they start to be avoided. Positive, happy, smiling people are simply more fun to be around. Be one of those people! Plus, this means that when things really ARE going badly for you, your friends will notice the difference and will be keen to help.
  5. YOU ARE BRAVE. It can feel hard to give a compliment sometimes. It could feel out of place or make you feel vulnerable (‘What if they don’t like me?’). One reason that a compliment is so appreciated is the fact that you are putting yourself ‘out there’ in such a way. Be brave!

Get out there and make some compliments today! Ensure they are genuine and from the heart.

What nice things have you said to people recently?

Give someone a verbal hug today: Names

Have you given someone a verbal hug today?

There are occasions when we meet a new group of people. The usual whirlwind of introductions and names occur. Sometimes we almost ‘discard’ someone’s name because it can seem superfluous detail compared to who the person actually is. It is also going to be one of the first things someone says to us so our concentration may not be in the right place either.

I have blogged with some tips in this area before, so check that out if you struggle with this!

Recently, I was happy to be complimented on the fact that I was remembering the names of everyone. I certainly used to be terrible at it and it was only with effort that I improved. Football refereeing has been a ‘trial of fire’ with this: You want to do everything possible to establish rapport with 22+ potentially unruly players!

I’ve already linked to some tips on how to improve in this area, but WHY is it so important?

  1. IT’S A VERBAL HUG! All of us have had names for a very long time! We react to them instinctively. Hearing someone use your name is a form of hug and makes you feel welcome and involved. This is of course referring to a name being used in a positive way as opposed to anything that might trigger the memories of a parent giving a ‘telling off’.
  2. THANKS FOR LISTENING. Using someone’s name, especially early on, does at least demonstrate you are paying attention. You may appear to be listening to an anecdote but if you find yourself ten minutes later having to ask, “Erm, what was your name again?” then you have undone some of that good.
  3. YOU ARE CREATING INVOLVEMENT. It is possible to be a ‘social queen bee’ and involve others in the conversation a lot more easily if you can use their name. Again, this is all about making people feel welcome and valued. “This person is also involved in….” does not quite have the same ring to it. Nor would beckoning someone with hand signals alone!

Try using names more often today. Even with people you know really well. See what a change it has and whether you can hit a good ‘sweet spot’!

Mentoring that first speech

As a member of Farnham Speakers, and in turn a member of Toastmasters, I help out with mentoring newer members in giving their first few speeches. This is incredibly rewarding as the mentoring and evaluation process, combined with the hard work of the speaker, allow a journey of improvement that is visible to all involved.

The first speech in the Toastmasters system is ‘The Icebreaker’. I gave my own one over a year ago now and have certainly never looked back.

The purpose of this first speech is very simple: Show us what you can do! It is a starting point for the continued Toastmasters learning experience. No matter what level you currently are, there are always going to be things you are doing well, and things that could do with being improved.

My latest mentee gave her Icebreaker recently. She comes from a teaching background so getting up in front of an audience is not new, but giving an actual speech was. She had been involved in other roles prior to giving a speech, such as running the ‘Table Topics’ session in a previous meeting. This allowed us to see the areas that should be worked on.

As part of working with her on the speech writing and preparing for actually giving it…. what did we learn?

  1. SLOW DOWN! It was obvious early on that nerves led to speaking quickly and rushing through. This was easy to work on as it was self-acknowledged by my mentee. Relax, take your time. We ensured that the speech length was never going to be close to the maximum time so that there would be no additional pressure (“I’d better hurry up before the red light comes on!”).
  2. THE AUDIENCE IS SELFISH! When I was reviewing the speech, I suggested putting in questions to the audience and also the use of a very powerful word: “You”. Speeches which are “Me, me, me!” will ‘lose’ an audience. Finding a connection is important and “You” is a great way of doing this. Included in this is that when asking a question to the audience, care about the answer!
  3. DON’T TRY AND BE TOO CLEVER! A tendency with the Icebreaker is to try and write the best speech in the world, with clever tricks, twists and turns. Stick to the basics for the first one. Pulling off some of those tricks is hard and it is a real downer if you feel it hasn’t quite worked afterwards.
  4. READ IT ALOUD! Perhaps obvious but so very important. A speech which looks good on paper may not work when read aloud, due to the difference in impact between written and spoken language. For example, you may need to repeat a key point to make it ‘stick’ in the audience’s mind. On paper, they can just go back and re-read things they are not sure about.
  5. NOTES STRATEGY. Notes are absolutely fine for an Icebreaker. Just have them prepared and know you can work with them. My mentee decided to go with the whole speech printed (in a big font) on the lectern as a memory aid. It worked well. I was especially proud when she remembered to set up the stage with the lectern to one side, instead of hiding behind it!

I hope you find this useful. Have you got any advice you would give to someone giving their first speech? Have you ever received any advice that has really stuck with you? I’d love to hear it!

First steps in the land of the ukulele

You know what? I think the ukulele is pretty cool.

I’ve been playing guitar for many, many years. I’ve got a bit of a collection and it is wonderful thinking of the history behind each instrument. I have even recorded a few things in my time.

The ‘uke’ has been growing in popularity recently. There is even an orchestra and a whole host of different ‘ukejams’ going on around the world.

I have now picked up my very own (called Layla… as in ‘uke-layla’.. groan….) and love it. Why are they just so sweet?

  1. EASY TO LEARN: Four strings. Very quick to get the initial chord shapes going, although as the tuning is different from a guitar I felt a bit like a sprawling kitten to begin with. Anyone can get going very, very quickly. I learned about four chords before heading to my first jam session and learned the rest as the evening went on! The fact that the strings are typically nylon avoids newbie fingers being cut to shreds as well.
  2. CHEAP! A basic ukulele can be yours for about £25. As a result, great for children. When my eight year-old daughter plays with my guitars I am half excited, half petrified, and find myself edging closer to her ‘just in case’ ! If she takes to the ‘uke’, and I really think she will, I intend to get her one of her own! Of course, if you get really into it, you can spend more money to get something of a bit more quality…
  3. TINY! Ukuleles are really small. As a result, they are immensely portable. When I played in a band, I was forever lugging flight cases and amplifiers about. My ukulele weighs about the same as my mobile phone.
  4. SMILE! You can’t stop smiling when playing a ukulele. The tone and action, and in particular, the ‘jam’ feeling when playing in a group are great.

If you (or a child?) are thinking of learning a musical instrument, or want to try something new, then I heartily recommend picking one up. You could then join the whole social experience by popping along to a jam session!

UPDATE: I was remiss in not mentioning the particular ‘ukejam’ session that I have been intending. Especially since it was the final push in convincing me to get my own ukulele. Please check out the Godalming-based Ukejam as it is wonderful. Thanks to Claire (in the comments section) for pointing this out.

Still need convincing? Here are a couple of videos!

First impressions of Google+

The ‘plus’ sign that I have chosen for this article may be appropriate. Google have tried their hand at social media before in various ways, be it Orkut (remember that?) or Wave (RIP). They have dearly needed some ‘First Aid’ to try and compete with Facebook. Especially since Facebook have been spreading their tentacles out into the search space…

How is Google+ looking so far?

  1. The UI is crisp, clean and very usable. The UI was a huge barrier to entry for Wave. It was confusing and the system crashed most of the time. It is ‘at a glance’ easy in order to post, add people to circles and so on.
  2. It’s very easy to add people.. Click…click…click. People can be added by sharing, dragging into circles or via the recommendations system. It feels very organic to grow your network within the system.
  3. You can’t escape it. The new Google navigation bar makes sure Google+ will be integrated into your search experience. Provided you use Google, of course. Research has shown that Google have 63.6% of the search market share right now which makes it quite likely.
  4. Day 1 Mobile Support. Android app straight out of the game, and forthcoming for the other platforms. Facebook themselves report: ‘People that use Facebook on their mobile devices are twice as active on Facebook than non-mobile users’.

It is a very solid and credible start. There is still work to be done, of course: The voice/video chat was very unstable when we tested it in the office and there is no gaming platform yet to snag the Farmville demographic!

The last point is more serious than it sounds. People need a reason to switch to use a different network, and stick with it beyond the ‘Ooh, a new toy!’ honeymoon period. What will Google have planned?

I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes… what are your thoughts on it?