October 2010 – extricate.org

Dealing with loud youth coaches

AllardyceShoutsPA_468x400 — SHOUTY SHOUTY

Following on from refereeing a feisty Sunday morning match, I had an Under 15s game.

Youth football is interesting as the attitude of a team is clearly imprinted by those involved in coaching them. This isn’t just the coach. It includes parents, school environments and others involved in helping out.

Everyone involved in this game had their heart in the right place, including the players. There was just one caution for kicking the ball away which was very blatant (The captain ran up and did it just as the opposing team was going to take the free kick!)

However, this game did feature a Loud Youth Coach (LYC). My default attitude is ‘Yay!’ when it comes to refereeing but following on from my morning game I was not going to take any stick either. Following a free kick against his team (late challenge on the goalkeeper) he was loudly dissenting from the sidelines: “How is that a free kick? Are you not allowed to touch the ‘keeper nowadays?”.

He was loud enough for anyone to hear so I clearly shouted back “That’s enough, xxx. I will not tolerate any more criticism of my decisions from you!”. I was setting my stall out very early on this one. This worked and things calmed down for the rest of the half. He did approach me in a friendly manner at half time and I happily explained my decision and he accepted it. I am always happy to discuss my decisions with those who ask in a calm manner (I hear some referees will not!).

The second half was interesting as I became aware of some raised voices from the same area of the pitch again. Someone had approached the coach and there was a loud discussion. Fearing a confrontation, and preferring a pre-emptive approach, I stopped play and sprinted over. It turned out to be an official from the opposition who was having a gentle word about the coach’s conduct as well! Nothing to worry about and the game continued.

I did chuckle later on when one of the coach’s players went down in the penalty area. I didn’t give the penalty and he was not impressed! However, one of his own players then turned round and said: “Shut up, xxx, he just slipped!”.

The key here is to deal with the slightly more ‘vigorous’ coaches early on. Like with many things, it is important for the referee to set his standard for the game EARLY.

What sort of message would it send if the referee just lets the coaches loudly berate him or her during the game?

Me vs Sunday morning football

On Sunday morning I had a veterans league cup game. It featured a Div 3 team vs a Div 4 team so perhaps no surprises that the Div 3 team won pretty convincingly. That said, the skill level was not the highest I have seen and at one point I was starting to think that if it was not for the penalties no goals were going to be scored.

Tempers rose at one point with a big case of ‘handbags’ between two players, starting with the usual “I’ve got to f**king work in the morning!” Normally I would just have a strong word the first time but on this occasion the players stepped over the edge. Not only was there significant pushing and shoving, it was accompanied by the usual ‘see you in the car park’ threats and swearing. I cautioned both.

Cautioning in Sunday morning football is a trial by fire. “It’s just Sunday football, ref” was the annoyed response. As I said to the Captains before the game, my refereeing style is that I referee to the game. If it is all clean passes and kittens then great. If it becomes narky then I’m taking action.

There were several penalties in this game. Two of them (against the losing side) provoked further problems.

The first was a cross into the box which hit the arm of a defender. The arm was stretched out to the side so no question of the penalty and this was not really disputed. However, as it was a blatant break-up of the attacking play I cautioned. Again, “It’s just Sunday football, ref” and “Get a grip!”. I cautioned for exactly the same thing in a Saturday game recently and the player accepted it and moved on. It’s an attitude thing.

The second was the goalkeeper shoving an attacker square in the back as the ball was sailing in from above. The problem here was that it was as a corner was flying in. Everyone was watching the ball whereas I was watching the players. The only people on the pitch that knew about the push were the goalkeeper and the attacker he pushed over! Oh, and me of course hence I awarded the penalty. Predictably, the goalkeeper protested his innocence and it was a REALLY tough penalty to sell.

By this point I was no friend of the losing team in the slightest and I was generally accused by them of ruining the game.

Looking back, I’m not sure what I could have changed but am welcome to any input. It might be telling that a referee I worked with recently (Level 4 and on the county Development Programme) said he basically gave up refereeing Sunday football because of how enforcing the Laws just gets you into trouble! After all, I’ve recently had Sunday teams turn up in black kits and not know what it means when you win the coin toss. Sigh.

Despite the above, there are some Sunday players and even entire teams with great spirit who both know the Laws and play with great sportsmanship. I just hope I’ll meet them more often!

The Final Three Points

This was my #4 speech from the Toastmaster‘s Competent Communicator manual. I had given #5 in the recent Humorous Speech Contest so taking a little detour in the ordering!

This speech had the goal of ‘How to Say It‘ so I decided to tell the story of the day I finally got my black belt in judo.

This was not what I consider a good performance by me. For a start, this was my second attempt on the evening (hence the slightly strange beginning). A combination of poor preparation and personal life stress did not mix well: I gave up after 30 seconds due to going blank and gave myself a good mental kicking during the next speech in order to try again afterwards. I am very thankful to the support of Farnham Speakers on that! Anyway, this ultimately meant I could not relax fully into the speech which I feel is obvious on the video at times.

That said, there are positives! I left longer pauses for the obvious laughs that I wanted which worked well. I received a good evaluation on the use of language which of course was the goal of this speech anyway. Finally, this won Best Prepared Speech on the night.

Ultimately, the lack of preparation is letting me down. That’s completely my fault and I raised this last time! Knowing a speech backwards is what nails it as then you can work on enjoying it and making it outstanding.

Next time…

Reading the riot act

I am a big believer in that the referee should be pretty much invisible. The game should flow and be about the players. However, there are times when the referee must deliberately raise his profile.

One of the leagues that I referee on is a youth league. Following some positive feedback on how I dealt with a severe Violent Conduct recently, I have been put on the ‘games of note’ list for the league. This means that I get given games where one or both of the teams have become ‘known’…

Youth games can be refereed by other youths. They may naturally be fantastic referees but due to their age can start with a disadvantage with regard to winning respect from some players, managers and spectators. Note: some. I regularly smile at some of the great sportsmanship that is shown within the game! Anyway, as (allegedly) a fully grown man I can be sent in as a ‘stunt referee’ as required.

I had one of these games at the weekend.

No problems to begin with. It was a tight game and I remember thinking that I had not had to give any fouls for at least the first ten minutes. Could it last…?

The problem was that the goals started to come. In a very one-sided fashion. The losing team responded by becoming a lot more physical and frustrated in the second half (They ended up losing 10-0).

I dismissed one of their players for Violent Conduct (an open handed chest strike). This was claimed to be a retaliation but I did not see the alleged first incident and can only give what I see!

Shortly after this, there was a late challenge for the ball from the same team which shoulder-charged the opponent to the ground. It wasn’t just late but tinged with maliciousness.

This was when I had to raise my profile and essentially ‘read the riot act’. I raised my voice so that pretty much anyone around was going to hear me and pulled the offender and the captain over. I made it very clear that they had stepped over the line and that the captain now had to get control of his team. This was finalised with a caution for the dodgy challenge.

This had the desired effect. Those challenges stopped although the losing team also pretty much gave up.

The referee’s presence over the game must match the spirit in which it is played. Just as this means being invisible during a good, friendly game, it means rising to the challenge of maintaining control when a flashpoint occurs.

It has not escaped my attention that I have now dismissed someone for Violent Conduct in my last three youth games. One of those players is now on a ‘sine die’ suspension.

SEE ALSO: Fine for 43minutes! which talks of ‘bossing it’ when games get more heated.