I performed my ‘Breaking through walls’ speech a second time. This was unexpected but Camberley Speakers contacted me as they had a spare slot. I was a little reticent as it felt a little weird to do the same speech twice but they were very encouraging!
In fact, the encouragement from Toastmasters clubs is always pretty amazing.
So, what did I learn from doing it a second time?
I was much, much more relaxed. I had not ‘touched’ the speech since the day of the original performance and I did not even take my notes with me to the second meeting. It flowed very naturally and the audience seemed to key into the speech much more which in turn helped me out. It felt much more like a performance to me as opposed to just giving my speech.
Something obviously clicked: I won ‘Best Prepared Speaker’ on the night and was also in the right zone to win ‘Best Topics Speaker’ as well!
Martin Berry, President of Camberley Speakers, told me afterwards that he feels that it is always the second time he gives a speech that it feels the strongest. Any time after that it starts to become more of a recital.
I have yet to need to give the same speech more than twice but as I have my gaze fixed firmly on competing in the speaking arena in the near future, I am going to have to get used to the idea!
I delivered my second prepared speech at Farnham Speakers this week. It was a wonderful evening and Kathy Brown has written the official report which will tell you all about it!
The purpose of the #2 speech in Toastmasters is ‘Organise’. In essence: Have a strong opening and conclusion, and transition smoothly between the points in the middle.
I had two other goals based on the feedback from my first speech. Firstly, to avoid pointing at the audience (I never realised I was doing this). Secondly, to give eye contact to more of the audience (I was tending to concentrate on the first few rows only).
I enjoyed giving this speech and, like my first, did it without notes. I am glad that I have had positive feedback. Based on that, the next thing I feel I have to work on is to avoid pacing around which does not add anything to the speech. I am good with body language (this speech made it easy due to it being about physical things to a large degree) but need to accentuate it so it is not lost in the noise.
Like my first speech, I ended up cutting out a lot of material to subscribe to the ‘less is more’ principle and to allow a slower, more controlled and effective delivery of the content. However, much as I LOVE the ‘Zoe’ section it could be argued that it does not fit in with the overall theme of the speech…
The referee and coach relationship can be a little strained in any sport. What can we do to keep things sweet?
I am a coach and referee which is useful in terms of perspective. I am also a strong believer in that appropriate ‘man management’ skills will resolve most conflict before it ever really arises.
When a coach raises an issue it can be pretty emotive. They have two levels of investment here: The personal effort that they have put into developing a player and also the empathy they have for the player.
So, here are tips for referees!
BE CALM: No matter how upset a coach may be it is absolutely essential to keep your cool. The moment you start shouting is the moment that the situation is totally spiralling out of your control.
ENFORCE BOUNDARIES: The previous point does not mean you have to take screaming abuse. Calmly set your boundaries and enforce them. This means being ready to walk (or run?!) away if things are not working out.
SHOW RESPECT: Chances are the coach has given up hours of their time in coaching. They have done the courses. They have kept their skills up. They want their players to succeed. Never, ever put up ‘Referee vs Coach’ walls. This includes NEVER EVER using the immortal phrase of, “You’re not a referee”. This is the instant best way of losing control of the entire situation.
LISTEN BEFORE RESPONDING: You know what, the coach may be entirely wrong. You still have to listen to what they have to say. This is because you must understand where they are coming from as there may be a misunderstanding or an assumption which is causing all this which can be easily resolved. If you don’t listen, you will never find out what it is!
EXPLAIN YOURSELF: Explain your reasoning for the decision in question. Interpretation and your view of events is really important in these sorts of conflicts. The coach will be much more understanding (well, sometimes!) if they can understand WHY something has been done.
YOU MAY BE WRONG: Never start with the assumption that you are right and the coach is wrong. Some coaches have experience at national and international level which will exceed the experience of the referee. No-one is infallible. That includes you. If you in capacity as referee can’t admit your own mistakes, what real hope is there for fair play?
IT MAY NOT WORK OUT: At the end of the day, you may not reach any form of agreement with the coach. You may ‘agree to disagree’ (Perhaps on interpretation of a rule) but ultimately the coach may be adamant that they are right and you are wrong. That’s fine. You can’t win ’em all. Recognise when there is no point in discussing things any further because they have gone circular and walk away.
BE FIRST: If you anticipate issues with a coach, why wait for them to come to you? I’ve had best results by going to THEM first before general grumbling becomes anger! Nip problems in the bud first if you can. This also helps with maintaining the appropriate authority you have as referee. Not only that, it’s showing you actually do care…
Coach and referee in happier times...
One final thing: Are you only ever talking to coaches when there is a problem? Does this seem right to you?
I hope that these tips prove useful in any further conflicts that you have. Do you have any advice of your own to share on this subject?
For the second year running, I was helping referee the judo at the Kent International 2010. This is an event with more pedigree than I initially realised: Roger Down received an award for service having assisted as Referee In Charge for 25 years!
It is held at the Crystal Palace National Sports Centre. Some improvements have been made since I was last here. Most noticeable was the fancy new gym downstairs, complete with ‘iPod room’. I never actually visited that room. Hey, there was work to be done…
The issue I have with the venue as a whole is that it doesn’t really hold a candle to more modern ones. This especially applies when we have a hot weekend like we did this time around: Glass features heavily in the construction! As a result, the sports hall area becomes a greenhouse. This is compounded by the heated swimming pool being adjacent and essentially in a shared space. Thankfully, I was able to hunt down a mildly air-conditioned room in the catacombs of the building during my breaks.
Of course, I’ve only been doing this event for two years. Others have been involved for much, much longer and it is known by them as the ‘home of British judo’. I think this is one of those things where the two camps will never see eye to eye.
Enough of the venue. What about the judo?
Must cool down!
The rule changes (principally the ‘anti leg grab’ ones) are now well in effect. While this is meant to promote more traditional ‘stand up’ judo there was still evidence of the bent-over wrestling stance creeping in but this was being penalised as appropriate. I’m very ‘hot’ on wanting to penalise negative judo as it is all part of appreciation! Yes, we must appreciate judoka when they are performing amazing techniques and being positive but at the same time anyone involved in judo can help with stamping out the negative aspects. See also: Stepping out, excessive grip fighting, those dreaded false attacks…
Thankfully I only had to disqualify one competitor during the two days for leg grabbing. My team also had cause to disqualify a player for attempting a strangle in the Junior section, unfortunately. This event attracts a lot of players from abroad and despite best attempts to communicate the allowed techniques for each age band here, sometimes it either does not get through or a player lapses!
An interesting recent directive is that ‘bear hug’ grips are not permitted. This includes hands around the waist, overhooks, underhooks… the key is whether it is of a hug style! The hands also do not need to be touching. Current advice is to ‘Matte’ the first time it happens and penalise after that: Techniques employing it are not scorable. Only had cause to refer to this rule once which was a shame, in all honesty, as it was a wonderful and technical throw!
There were some lovely throws being demonstrated and some contests with real passion behind them. In particular I did notice some spectacular progression in newaza and it is a joy to watch that unfold when refereeing. It is certainly a refereeing skill to spot when that progression is happening and to give Tori ample time to set things up. Very few contests went to a ‘flags’ decision for my team and in addition all of those decisions were unanimous. We did need to explain to at least one coach that those decisions are now based on the entirety of the contest now though as opposed to just the ‘Golden Score’ component.
I was assessed and recommended to go for my National ‘B’ qualification next year. For now, it is a case of getting in further experience at senior events. I’ve picked up some valuable feedback so it will be interesting to see where this goes…
