Tag: remembering

Give someone a verbal hug today: Names

Have you given someone a verbal hug today?

There are occasions when we meet a new group of people. The usual whirlwind of introductions and names occur. Sometimes we almost ‘discard’ someone’s name because it can seem superfluous detail compared to who the person actually is. It is also going to be one of the first things someone says to us so our concentration may not be in the right place either.

I have blogged with some tips in this area before, so check that out if you struggle with this!

Recently, I was happy to be complimented on the fact that I was remembering the names of everyone. I certainly used to be terrible at it and it was only with effort that I improved. Football refereeing has been a ‘trial of fire’ with this: You want to do everything possible to establish rapport with 22+ potentially unruly players!

I’ve already linked to some tips on how to improve in this area, but WHY is it so important?

  1. IT’S A VERBAL HUG! All of us have had names for a very long time! We react to them instinctively. Hearing someone use your name is a form of hug and makes you feel welcome and involved. This is of course referring to a name being used in a positive way as opposed to anything that might trigger the memories of a parent giving a ‘telling off’.
  2. THANKS FOR LISTENING. Using someone’s name, especially early on, does at least demonstrate you are paying attention. You may appear to be listening to an anecdote but if you find yourself ten minutes later having to ask, “Erm, what was your name again?” then you have undone some of that good.
  3. YOU ARE CREATING INVOLVEMENT. It is possible to be a ‘social queen bee’ and involve others in the conversation a lot more easily if you can use their name. Again, this is all about making people feel welcome and valued. “This person is also involved in….” does not quite have the same ring to it. Nor would beckoning someone with hand signals alone!

Try using names more often today. Even with people you know really well. See what a change it has and whether you can hit a good ‘sweet spot’!