Tag: positivity

Another verbal hug: Compliments

Short of giving someone an actual hug, or remembering to use their name, what is a great way of giving someone that warm and fuzzy feeling?

It is so easy to fall into the trap of just seeing someone’s negative traits, or just taking them for granted. Wouldn’t it be so much nicer to take the time to tell someone something that you like about them?

Here are some reasons why this is such a wonderful thing to do:

  1. YOU WILL MAKE SOMEONE SMILE. Everyone likes to feel good. Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Having the consideration to pay someone a compliment will really help them feel engaged with you and happy in themselves. Smiling is good for your health!
  2. TAKE AWAY THE NEGATIVITY. There is so much negativity in our society today. People complain about things not working, about customer service, about trains being late, about their partner forgetting something, about the Internet being slow at that second….. moan, moan, moan! Compliments really seem to stand out nowadays.
  3. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THINGS IN A DIFFERENT WAY. Paying someone a compliment means you are looking at them in a positive, praising way. It will help you look deeply at them and what makes them ‘tick’. Throw away constantly thinking the worst of people and realise that they are truly multifaceted!
  4. YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED AS A POSITIVE PERSON. Do you know someone who is a bit of a ‘downer’? All they do is moan about how bad people or things are? That can be very draining and they start to be avoided. Positive, happy, smiling people are simply more fun to be around. Be one of those people! Plus, this means that when things really ARE going badly for you, your friends will notice the difference and will be keen to help.
  5. YOU ARE BRAVE. It can feel hard to give a compliment sometimes. It could feel out of place or make you feel vulnerable (‘What if they don’t like me?’). One reason that a compliment is so appreciated is the fact that you are putting yourself ‘out there’ in such a way. Be brave!

Get out there and make some compliments today! Ensure they are genuine and from the heart.

What nice things have you said to people recently?

Feeling the positivity of an evening at Fratton Park

I was privileged recently to attend Pompey playing Birmingham at Fratton Park. This was the league game within days of their victory over the same team in the FA cup. Naturally, Birmingham had a score to settle…

Privileged for several reasons! As I am gainfully employed under the subtext of ‘Head Geek’ for the team’s shirt sponsor I went along under corporate hospitality. Even before the match began, the enthusiasm and drive of pretty much everyone from the club I had contact with was evident. It was clear they genuinely really cared for what they were doing and there wasn’t a detectable hint of worry. Sadly, just the following day, more than 80 employees of the club were made redundant.

Jamie O'Hara and I

The match itself was entertaining although Pompey clearly were not at their best. Birmingham had also clearly learned from the loss at the previous weekend and their back four were particularly tight. Final score: 1-2. Jamie O’Hara was the clear outstanding player to me, playing with real passion as well. We nominated him for the Partners’ Lounge Man of the Match. He was a nice guy in person as well, especially since I arrived late back from the dressing room area to see him.

Why was I in the dressing room area? Well, I am a qualified football referee myself but not anywhere near Premiership level at this point! I queried via our hosts whether it would be possible to meet the referee team after the match. I knew this would depend on a lot of variables but in particular whether they had a ‘good game’ or not. If any managers were furiously trying to beat their door down it would be particularly unlikely to happen…

Thankfully, they DID have a good game and I was taken down post-match. This meant waiting in the dressing room corridor for five minutes so I got to see the players milling about, and also to talk to the Match Assessor. So far the occurring theme in this entry is just how positive and nice everyone was and it applies here as well! The Assessor is there to report on the referee team’s performance and he took me in to see them.

Mike Jones, Mike Mullarkey, Andy D'Urso, Me, Darren Cann

He jokingly introduced me as being from the Surrey FA (well, this is technically true…) and there to conduct the assessment but there was no way I could keep that pretense up. I got to have a chat with the team and up close it really did strike me just how physically fit they were. This should hardly be of a surprise but I guess you only really ‘see’ it up close. During the game I thought Mike Jones was in his twenties: It was hard to believe that he is really 42. His two assistants typically work with Howard Webb and also featured in the Les Arbitres documentary, so to meet them as well was a particular thrill!

Really, seeing the fitness level on display has served to energise my own efforts in that area. I aim to be professional in all my dealings as a referee and projecting an appropriate level of fitness is a big part of that. After all, it’s a demonstration of making the effort.

I was even gifted some neat little Premier League lapel badges which I will be sporting on future match appointments until I am ordered to take them off 😉

So much positivity in one evening: From the club, the players (especially Mr O’Hara) and the referee team (who had clearly enjoyed the match as well). If I can take just an ounce of that and apply it to my own life then great things are bound to happen…