Month: September 2010

Competition Time: My first Humorous Speech

This was my entry into the Farnham Speakers Humorous Speech Contest 2010. It was a speech of firsts: The first deliberately humorous speech I have written and also my first attempt at entering any form of speaking contest!

This has been the easiest speech of mine to write and perform. Most of it was poured onto paper when sitting round the kitchen table at the peaceful Castle Farm. It then sat around for a bit until I finally edited it and started practising… the day before the contest! Thankfully, the (true-ish) story-telling nature of the project made it easy to remember.

LINES AND LINES AND LINES

The quality of the speeches on the night was very high. I was on last so hearing how great everyone else was did little for my nerves! Thankfully, I love performing and as this is very much a performance speech it was easy to hit my flow.

People laughed and not in sympathy. I was also very happy (and somewhat surprised) to win the competition. Unfortunately, I can’t advance to the Area contest as the club is not yet charted… never mind, next year then!

However, there is no speech in Toastmasters without feedback! I’ve already mentioned the positives so here is what I feel I need to work on:

  1. PREPARATION: I need to stop finishing writing my speeches the day before they are due to be given. More time with my mentor and honing them would make a huge difference.
  2. LET THEM LAUGH: A couple of people have commented I need to leave more room for laughter. I had this sussed in some places but clearly not in others. Admittedly, I was worried I might run out of time…. in the end this was not an issue at all.
  3. VOCAL VARIETY: I can do strong and powerful. I need vocal variety to make the strong elements ring through. This is going to be my next project.

It was a fun night. I am now idly thinking of trying a little bit of stand-up…

Alice Holt 10k 2010

Nearly there...

Time for another 10k! This one was the Alice Holt 10k as organised by Farnham Runners. The forest is just up the road from me and I had been doing a few training runs there. Another link is that the speed training sessions that I have been doing recently have been with the club.

I was back to regular refereeing and had even managed 10k in training so my fitness levels were better than last time. This was good as I was disappointed with my performance at the Hard As Snails 10k and knew I had to do a lot better!

The weather was wonderful. The course was certainly easier going than the Hard As Snails event so I suppose in a way I was well prepared (despite my lack of hill training in general…again!). It was perhaps a little cruel of the organisers to put the same evil hill at both 4km and 9km though due to the looping nature of the route.

I certainly welcomed sponges being made available at the water stations as it tends to be over-heating that hampers my performance before my cardio or muscles start to give in. One of those little touches that makes all the difference to an event.

My chip time was 52:19 which ranked me 210th out of 428 runners. More importantly, it is my all-time PB. That said, I have a long way to go to get the sorts of times I would be proud of. My style is burst running which suits refereeing perfectly but I still want to be much faster!

Now, by way of comparison, here is me before the race:

… and here I am finishing, not quite as fresh faced! I am bouncing after the sprint to make sure I land on the timing mats properly!

Remember the name

David Lurie wrote an interesting article recently with a self-explanatory title: 5 Tricks for Remembering Names.

This got me thinking as it is something I do really need to work on. When I turn up at a game to referee it, chances are most of the people there I will not have met before: There will be the club officials (secretary, manager, coach, physio, to begin with!) and the players. Multiply that by two.

It stands to reason that it really helps to build a rapport with people if you actually remember and use their name! Especially if, as referee, you want to give the impression that you do care about the game and are not just there to scowl, blow your whistle and pick up your money at the end.

Think about the long term as well: If you are visiting a team that you have refereed a few times before but don’t recall any of their names, that will not look so good. Depending on your performance the previous time they may remember you really well 😉 This has been really powerful when I’ve used it with players before: Mainly because I cautioned them in the last game! It’s almost a discrete, “Hey, I’m watching”.

Some points of my own that I will add onto the back of David’s article:

  1. ACTUALLY LISTEN: This is where I fall down. I listen to what people say in terms of the content but I seem to automatically filter out their name as ‘not relevant’. So make an effort to pick it up, use it, repeat it to yourself, visualise it as a sign on their forehead, whatever you like!
  2. USE YOUR NOTEBOOK: This is not something you can get away with without looking strange when normally meeting people. However, as a referee you are expected to be jotting things down in your ‘little black book’ and things like manager names and the like definitely fall into this category. It is also part of the ‘Look Like You Know What You Are Doing’ toolset!
  3. SOME PLAYERS ARE SPECIAL: If your match is using team sheets then you have 22 players + subs to memorise. Unlikely to happen! However, try and memorise the key players: Captains and goalkeepers, for example. During play if a player becomes special then discretely check your notebook and start using their name. It can help get their attention a lot better but use your judgement.

Do you have any tips for remembering names? Ever had a bad situation because you have forgotten, or perhaps BECAUSE you used a name?

Positioning and rapport: Keeping on the right side of players

Stay close... or distant!

Physical positioning is a key aspect of building rapport with people. There is a lot to this concept including various NLP principles. An excellent general article on this subject has been written by Nicky Kriel: Communication – Let’s get Physical! and I strongly recommend that you take a look. The article details how space, angles and sides come into play.

We use these when refereeing to deliberately elicit the desired response as part of a stepped approach to discipline:

  1. THE QUIET WORD: Running up to a player discreetly during play and asking them to calm down, or explaining something you have heard them grumbling about. Typically side by side, so it does not feel confrontational or lecturing. The positioning is saying: “Hey, we’re on the same side here”.
  2. THE NOT SO QUIET WORD:Raised voice from a distance: “That’s enough now”, “I’ve seen it, I played the advantage”, “GREAT challenge!” If aimed at a player the intention is also to let others know things have been seen or heard! The eye contact is there but no change in positioning from the referee. The positioning is saying: “Here’s my comment for everyone to hear, but we are just getting on with things!”.
  3. THE TALKING TO: Play is stopped for this. The player is taken to a neutral spot and addressed head on. “I don’t want to see any more challenges like that”, “This is your last warning: Stop questioning my decisions”, “I’m cautioning you for that tackle”. Gestures are used so that the other players on the pitch have an idea what is going on! The positioning is saying: “I’m not being nice now, I AM lecturing you and everyone is getting to see why!”

The positioning in the above cases has a real impact on the game and the players. Imagine how you would feel if they were twisted around? A ‘quiet word’ when someone draws attention to it and is looking at you head on and invading your personal space? How about you’ve done something REALLY bad but someone just comes up to you side-on and says, “Don’t do it again”: Would you actually feel disciplined or instead that you had just got away with something? How would it look to spectators?

Positioning is a powerful force with building rapport and vital for keeping control of a match. Do you have any positioning tricks?

Violent Conduct: Drawing the line

Red card coming!

Violent Conduct results in a clear dismissal when it happens. The relevant part of the Laws Of The Game are as follows:

  • A player is guilty of violent conduct if he uses excessive force or brutality against an opponent when not challenging for the ball.
  • He is also guilty of violent conduct if he uses excessive force or brutality against a team-mate, spectator, match official or any other person.
  • Violent conduct may occur either on the field of play or outside its boundaries, whether the ball is in play or not.

A clear line has to be drawn that this is totally unacceptable in the game. This is a more obvious line in some cases: My first dismissal for Violent Conduct was following a player deliberately stamping on the head of their opponent.

In my most recent game as Assistant Referee, two players were dismissed for Violent Conduct after getting into a fight. It started as ‘handbags’ but a few punches were thrown. No question: Dismissal. The furore afterwards also resulted in a team manager being ordered away from the touchline by the referee.

That was bad enough but the irksome bit was the comment “It shouldn’t have been a red card; it wasn’t a proper fight”. Not a proper fight?! In my eyes, even an attempt to strike or preparing to throw a punch is going to result in a dismissal. Remember that we dismiss for ‘touching heads’ even though it is not what would traditionally be called a head butt.

I’d be very concerned if some referees were being soft on this one as it has to be a zero-tolerance line. Equally, the players and team officials need to treat it as such as well. Certainly never players ‘blowing off steam’ …

Have you encountered any ‘borderline’ Violent Conduct? Where do you feel that ‘adopting an aggressive attitude’ (Unsporting Behaviour) comes in instead?

Some non-borderline cases: