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Toastmasters has lot of variety when it comes to speech projects. Here is Nicky Kriel being interviewed by me on a ‘talk show’ at Farnham Speakers. This is unprepared: she knows the topic but not the questions or direction it will go in.
It was good fun and my first experience of talking straight to the camera.
The hardest thing I found was appearing sincere when asking questions to which I already knew the answers…
First impressions count in refereeing. The first few minutes of a game are when it is particularly essential to be bold, confident and get the decisions right. It establishes your credibility and then allows you to slip into the background again. In fact, a good start will let a referee ‘get away with’ any minor complaints such as disputed throw-ins or little trips without too much harm to match control.
However, things can and will go wrong.
Firstly, a big mistake can be made. A contentious penalty shout where the referee’s angle is not the best one? An off-the-ball incident which everyone else has seen? An incorrect restart of play? Actually, it may not even be a mistake: If a team has perceived it to be wrong or blatantly unfair then the same negative comments will come at the referee and may well be enough to make him or her THINK an error has been made.
Thirdly, a game may be starting to severely heat up: A few flash-point tackles (even if correctly called and misconduct given for) can still bring about reprisals from the other team and suddenly the game has switched in temperament and not in a very nice way.
Recognise when you are starting to get caught in ‘the trap’. The symptoms are:
The results? If you start to referee with the traits above you are just inviting further mistakes, further negative feedback and certainly your match control will start to slide into the abyss.
The key after a bad incident is to TAKE CONTROL. You are in control by default as the match referee so assert it! The incident has gone and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it now (other than tear yourself to bits over it). You have the rest of the match to get PERFECT. If you are close to the end of the match, think the 80 preceding minutes that have gone great for you! In fact, how about all those other games that have been great?
If anything, you need to be more assertive if the atmosphere has become charged. Tighten up the game: Perhaps play less advantage, be RIGHT on top of play (perhaps closer than normal), give those decisions QUICKLY and firmly. Handle dissent properly, be it from players or team officials: Certainly don’t just ignore it or it will eat away at both you and your match control.
If at the end of the game players want to talk to you about the incident, well, I’ve found it useful to be human and do this and BE HONEST. If they’ve clearly seen you make a mistake don’t try and deny it. Had the wrong position? Admit it. Players make mistakes too. You should value their feedback. Naturally, if this feedback turns into abuse territory then take action and make your exit as appropriate.
Remember you may well be refereeing any ‘problem’ team again in the not too distant future so you want to do your best to ‘soothe the savage beast’. Making a mistake is one thing, but making out you have not is going to particularly give you a bad start next time around.
Following a tough game, I would recommend following the advice given in Nicky Kriel’s 5 ways to reject the feeling of rejection – You can’t please everyone and you need to ensure that the negative feedback loop trap doesn’t continue onto your next game. It needs to be a confident and bold new start.
Good luck out there!