Nicky Kriel wrote recently on the subject of “Do you listen when you’re networking?”. A key phrase I picked out from this was “Have you experienced someone speaking at you?”.
I certainly have. Football players experience this too. The unofficial forums for the Combined Counties Football League are buzzing right now with the start of the new season and their hopes and dreams. One I’m seeing repeated is that referees should be less ‘card happy’ and actually listen to players.
Surely this is obvious? I thought so but it seems there is a section of referees who do not tolerate any comments from players whatsoever. “I just asked why he gave that free kick and he gave me a yellow card!”. Not good. Selling decisions is as much about listening as it is giving the decisions.
Dissent is of course not to be tolerated. However, there is a clear difference being players wanting to know WHY a decision has been given a certain way and them crossing the ‘line of tolerance’.
Listening to the concerns of players is absolutely vital.. It sets the tone of the game. Responding to their questions when things are still calm (if perhaps a little charged) can stop things escalating.
It may even be a cry for help: “He nearly elbowed me in the face”. Say nothing? The player will feel unprotected which will lead to bad things. Say you will keep an eye out because you want his good looks to be preserved? Perfect. If your rapport skills are up to scratch you will know when you can get away with the ‘good looks’ comment too!
If a dictatorial style is all you have in your refereeing toolbox then you are severely limiting yourself. Remember who the most important people on the pitch are!
You are right about how important it is to listen. Listening is a powerful skill to master.